Mother's Day

When we're young, when we have that "moment" and notice our first menstrual cycle, we're told many things.  Whether it's, "You're a woman now!", "Let's talk about the birds and the bees...", or even if we're not told anything at all - one thing becomes increasingly evident.  From that moment on, we, as women, have an ability - a gift, if you will - that only we possess.  The ability to conceive a child and become a mother.  We're not told, "You may or may not be able to become a mother."  It's something that we, as women, assume that, whether we want to or not, we all have the ability to do.  We cherish the fact that this gift is given only to us.


To the mothers:

Thank you.  Thank you for the gift of life and for the irreplaceable bond that can never be broken. Thank you for the sacrifices, the tears and for never failing to believe in your children.  Thank you for the sleepless nights, the hugs, the band-aids, and for reassuring your children that there are NO monsters under their beds or in their closets.  Thank you for the cookies, the chicken soup, for cutting the crust off of the PB&J sandwiches and, yes, even for the bad haircuts.  Thank you for the talks, for just listening, and for never wavering in your love for your child when they say they hate you.  Thank you for standing by your child through puberty, for celebrating with them, for encouraging them, and for always pushing them to do their best.  Thank you for helping your child through life's ups and downs and for teaching them that, no matter what, no one will ever love them the way their Mom does.


To the "other mothers":

Some of us are not mothers by choice.  Some of us are not mothers because our lives simply led us down a path that did not include motherhood.  Some of us are not mothers despite every effort we've made to become one.  Whatever our reasons for being childless, remember this:  We, as women, are a source of life to the world.  We possess the ability to nurture others. So thank you.  Thank you for caring, for being a sister, a daughter, a grand daughter, an aunt, and a friend.  Thank you for being a confidant, for the late-night talks, the coffee dates and for being a positive role model.  Thank you for your nurturing nature - whether it be your dreams, yourself, your pets, or your loved ones, you do it with zeal and without shame.  Thank you for being the wonderful women that you are!

There is no substitute for motherhood for the women who want it so badly, yet seem unable to attain it.  Do not deny your grief.  Do not minimize your desire to give birth, or the pain you feel for being unable to do so.  But know this:  we are not defined by or confined by our situation.


This weekend, celebrate yourself.  Whether you have ever felt a child grow in your womb or not, you, as a woman, are a mother. Allow your desire for giving life to beat wildly and without shame.  When words come to the surface - words of anger, pain, anxiety, longing, anticipation, joy - share them somehow, with someone.  If you stay silent, the world will suffer for it.  If you hide your life because, somehow, it wasn't the one you had hoped for, the world will grieve for you.

Yes, it takes the DNA from a man and a woman to create a new life.  But we are the sex that carries and nurtures that life to fruition.  And, whether you are a mother now, whether you were a mother, whether you're trying to become a mother, or even if you don't feel the desire to become a mother, that's something to celebrate.